Mike is a Pig
by You Love Gossip Girl XOXO
Summary: Bella is annoyed that mike keeps asking her out so the cullens help her involves talk about sex m because I'm paranoid it is kinda funny NO SLASH


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_**Messing With Mike**_

Mpov

Today was the day that would be mine and Bella's soon to be anniversary I woke feeling nice and refreshed I put on my best clothes and ate breakfast thinking about how to figure out how to ask. I figured I'd just Go up and give her the best kiss ever so good that everyone would applaud. I got out to my car and drove to school expecting to see a Volvo in their usual spot but no Volvo instead a mercadic guardian was their who owned that? opened and out stepped Bella and Edward damn him and that car. Stupid rich brat. well Bella will be MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i walked into class and saw Bella fidgeting with her hand. i wonder why probably sensing that i will save her from that evil Edward. i wounder if she will flirt. MR Macedon and started math. the day pasted fairly quick i was walking to lunch when i heard some sounds coming from the janitor closet i peeped in and saw a shirtless Edward feverishly making out with Bella. i felt sick, sick, sick. as i entered the lunch room i went to my usual table and started talking "guys i just saw Edward and Bella in the janitors closet making out and Edward had no shirt on" everyone gasped just then Emmett's booming voice came round and he said to rose i gotta check it out as soon as he said it the girls and jasper grabbed him the doors opened and Edward and Bella sat next to the rest of the Cullen's time to make my move i thought as i got up i walked over and tapped Bella's shoulder and kissed her the feeling was great i opened my eyes and saw Eric Yorkie sitting in front of me and the Cullen's sitting a table over everyone broke out in laughed even Bella i blushed and ran out of the room how did that happen i guess i will ask her in bio as the bell rang i hurried to class as i sat down i noticed that their was a extra chair at Bella's table wounder why? as class started Mr banner said that someone is joining us and will sit with Bella and Cullen the door opened and Emmett Cullen came in and sat with his brother we were told to chat about the answers with our partner i heard Bella giggle and a minute later Emmett said to Edward "would you please stop finger fucking Bella Edward" i nearly screamed as i followed Edward's hand to see it under Bella's mini skirt "we'll finish this tonight we have the house to ourselves by the way don't bring clothes" she moaned the Mr banner left for the toilet.

"t m i,t m i" said Emmett

"don't like don't listen" said Bella as Edward sucked on her neck for a while great free sex show i muttered sarcastically and told Jess to look at Edward she gasped

"you know i could tell the school what you and Bella did in the closet" they gasped and Alice stood beside the not that they noticed "I'm sure charlie would love to hear about all the kinky stuff you do at night in his house or carlisle would love to know you did it on his and Esme's bed along with the kitchen counter and his desk ever wall in his office and rose would love to hear that you two used every sex toy in the closet we haven't even used all of them or on roses BMW Alice would kill you if she knew that you did it in her damn closet you guys are worse than rabbits"

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN DID YOU DO IT WITH MY BROTHER IN MY FUCKING CLOSET WAIT DID YOU TAKE MY VIBRATOR!" Alice screamed at Bella as she shock like she was in an earthquake

"kinda" bella said

"FINE NOW I DON'T FEEL GUILTY SAYING TO YOU EDWARD ANTONY MASON CULLEN, JASPER AND I DID IT ON YOUR PIANO AND IN YOUR VOLVO AND YOU ISABELLA MARIE SWAN THE BACK OF YOUR TRUCK AND I'M TELLING THEM WHAT YOU DID LAST NIGHT"

"NOT IF YOU DO I TELL ROSE THAT YOU WHERE THE ONE THAT PAINTED HER OLD BMW PINK"

"DON'T CARE IT'S TO LATE" the little pixie girl stood on the table Bella and Edward tried to get her off but she stayed put "okay as some of you noticed their is a new fancy car out the front now their is a reason Edward bought Bella a car because they are engaged" as she said it Bella showed us the ring my heart broke there what? engaged just at this time Mr banner walked in he told Alice to take Emmett to art for some reason then the bell, went and everyone scurried to the next class in the changing room at gym everyone asked if Bella was good in bed he growled and said everyone stopped asking.

after gym nearly everyone had heard about the whole engagement as i was walking out to my car i saw Edward and Bella making out they got in as the rest of the Cullen's followed behind.

i hate my life i didn't even get my girl.

bpov

"and you said i couldn't act" i said to Edward as we drove to the Cullen mansion

"you where great and to think we still haven't slept together"

"i know" as we walked in Alice had a vision as she came out of it Edward and her froze

"whats wrong Bella we forgot one major flaw"

"what one is that"

"your father"

"oh shit he finds out when"

"mike tells him"

"that son of two ugly bitches" said Rosalie as Esme walked in

"whats wrong children" Edward told her about our plan to stop mike from asking me out

"you know" said Esme "you could get some revenge"

"where's the real Esme" said Emmett

"I'm just saying that for him to do that is low"

"come on Edward we have some sucking up to do to charlie" i said

"Edward that's brilliant" squealed Alice "we tell charlie that mike tried to date Bella but because of Edward he tried to brake you to up"

"that's great"

after we got home and explained things to charlie Edward and i told him we were engaged he took it well

THE NEXT DAY....

mpov

ha try to weasel your way when charlie find out that Edward and Bella are like rabbits

i saw Bella's new car and i walked up to it and said to Bella "now that i saved you from Cullen would you like to go out"

"newton" said Edward pushing me and opening Bella's door

"what are you doing with Bella, Cullen"

"walking my fiance to class oh and this is from charlie" he said and punched me in the nose and then bella said "this is also from charlie" and she hit me in the balls

they walked away all happy leaving me their crying maybe she doesn't like me nah i;m to hot not to be liked.

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review please


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